Sunday, September 25, 2011

Wow...That Made Everything Okay

I was presented with some pretty devastating news this week.  What I learned from it was that I am in fact an emotional eater.  I never wanted to admit this before.  I didn't think that my weight gain was related to emotional eating.  I thought that I was just eating too much for no reason at all.  It occurred to me, as I started to face this difficult situation, and couldn't seem to satisfy my appetite, that perhaps I am in fact one of the millions of people that eat for some emotional fullness.  In the midst of this situation, I sat down for lunch.  As I took the first bite of a really unhealthy meal, all of the sudden, it all slipped away for one brief moment.  I felt like the drug addict right as he sticks the needle in his arm.  Everything else faded from sight in that instant.  As I continued to eat over the last four days, I realized at each turn that it wasn't because I was psychically hungry.  Instead, the emotional void that I needed to fill was urging me to eat.  I would love to say that the realization of this allowed me to make better, more rational choices about my food.  However, I gave into the urge and ate.  I think that this is an important realization though.  While I wasn't able to control my impulses in the moment, I think that as I move forward, I can once again make choices that help me feel better over the long term.  The instant satisfaction of junky food quickly fades into an overall malaise that accompanies it.  The long term well-being that I feel when I make good choices about my food consumption must overtake the momentary relief that bad food can provide.  I do want to thank those around me these last few days (you know who you are) for knocking me over the head sometimes when I was spiraling out of control!  You're the BEST!

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